Cut the ex-Delhi CM some slack. He took 49 days to achieve what Anil Kapoor managed in one day. But Delhi’s AK did it in real life.
When Anil Kapoor came out of a Mumbai polling booth on the recent assembly polling day, reporters asked him about his expectations from the next government. The actor said: “The new chief minister should be like the character I played in Nayak.” He apparently followed it by saying “jhakaas”, but our sources will neither confirm nor deny it. In the 2001 film Nayak, Anil Kapoor plays a press reporter who becomes chief minister for a day. And what a handsome chief minister he makes! He showers largesse on the people, makes everything free and cures all ills in 24 hours flat. That film begins with a disclaimer that says any resemblance to a person living or dead was pure coincidence. In fact, there is no resemblance. Or was, until 2013 happened.
I begin this paean with a disclaimer: You have to cut Arvind Kejriwal some slack here. Of course, he took 49 days to achieve in real life what the other AK managed in one day in reel life. The achievements are unparalleled and unreal, because he was a real chief minister in what felt like a reel world. The list of his achievements are too long to sum up even in the limited space that Internet provides but do consider these points and decide for yourself if Arvind Kejriwal is not the greatest chief minister Bollywood never produced.
Water
1. God has given us three free things. Being a secular person Arvind would add Allah, Bhagwan and Wahe Guru every time he uttered the three-letter word. Since Buddhists and Jains are not a formidable vote bank, let us say God, Allah, Bhagwan and Wahe Guru gave us three free things: air, water and Anna Hazare. Governments charge money for water because science has failed to invent a meter for air supply, which is a nice name for a band but apparently it is already taken. This is not about rock bands, this is about the rockstar CM. So before we digress, here are the facts: Arvind Kejriwal promised free water to people and delivered 700 litres of free water a day to rich and poor alike. The extremely poor don’t have pipes and meters in their shanties, so they are free to criticise. But other people could drink all the free water they wanted and yet have water for plants and flushing toilets. This could mean a deathly blow to the Delhi Jal Board, but Arvind was smart enough to pay Delhi Jal Board from monies meant for other projects. No harm done. Who says good economics is not good politics?
Power
2. He promised lower power tariff. He fulfilled that too. The problem was that power is sold by private players who refused to play ball. He threatened them with a white paper and ordered an audit to check whether they were making profits. Why should private businesses be allowed to profit from doing business when politicians need to harvest votes as democracy’s dividend? Because we are doing business, they said. He immediately ensured that their profits are not hurt by giving them monies meant for other projects. No harm done. Who says good economics is not good politics?
No Cuts
3. There were no power cuts during his entire tenure. He made power cuts impossible by being in power in the winter months. It was so cold that most people were forced to switch off air-conditioners, the ugly monstrous machines that hog power as if it came cheap, which it did. That was a stroke of genius even Narendra Modi doesn’t seem to possess, though these are early days. I mean controlling the city’s temperature and forcing it to stay around a pleasant 30 degrees is no mean feat. Compare that to the BJP’s stint. When Modi came to power, it was scorching. It’s October and it’s still scorching. They will blame it on climate change as if the change of government has nothing to do with this. Typical Sangh Parivar hypocrisy induced by six decades of Congress rule.
Honest
4. There was no corruption and everybody was honest because honesty is the best policy first introduced by the Aam Aadmi Party. Delhi policemen were reined in by frequent radio spots where the chief minister introduced himself before asking people to use their mobile phones to shoot corrupt policemen with. “Main Arvind Kejriwal bol raha hoon” sent a shiver down the khaki spine and they were forced to confiscate mobile phones before asking for a simple bribe. Everybody became an anti-corruption officer with the power of the mobile phone. I live in neighbouring Noida and I could feel the power. In fact, you could go without charging your device. Such was the power of this simple device.
Auto Pilot
5. The police’s right to regulate auto-drivers was snatched by the government and the auto-drivers could charge whatever they wanted from citizens. This doesn’t mean that he gave auto-drivers a free hand. On the contrary, auto-drivers were made to swear on their children that they would not refuse a passenger. Except when they were returning home. This forced the auto-drivers to say they were returning home every time they rejected a woman stranded in the middle of nowhere, if she didn’t pay up whatever figure came to the driver’s mind. Or it was an auto-driver who hadn’t fathered a child yet. This popularised the mass public transport systems like the Delhi Metro and DTC, the two everlasting things he missed creating by a whisker.
No Rapes
6. There were no rapes in Delhi, then known worldwide as the “rape capital of India”. I mean one or two incidents here and there do not count in a city of this size. At least there were no outrageous rape cases and the one that shocked the city involved a foreign woman. But since he, unlike his law minister Somnath Bharti, respects all women irrespective of nationality, the chief minister himself did penance by sleeping on the road on a chilly night. His critics called it silly but he became the first chief minister to spend a night on the road in a thick blue quilt. Of course, the muffler helped. Please don’t grudge a man his muffler. Instead, look at the larger picture. The blue blanket, the muffler and the man.
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The larger picture
7. There were no immoral activities because he came to power on the plank of corruption. While he focused on financial and government corruption, his esteemed colleague Somnath Bharti took up the daunting task of checking moral corruption. So much so that 50 miles from Delhi, when Africans cried about racism, the elders silenced them by saying: “So ja, nahin to Bharti aa jaayega.” The same man is now bravely facing legal battles for branding unsuspecting foreigners as loose. The case is reported to be tight, but then these are small sacrifices.
Overkill Bill
8. He promised Jan Lokpal Bill and was about to bring it. His government depended on Congress’ support, whose leaders wanted to see the draft. Congress was also vocal in support of Jan Lokpal because it is a political party and no party likes to go against the public mood. Arvind Kejriwal feared that the Congress may end up supporting it after reading the draft. Now why would he let any other party support a good thing and share the credit? Not being daft, Arvind pulled the rug beneath his chair and enrolled himself as a martyr in the path of transparency and honesty. These are quite transparent times and the public could make out that he was looking for an escape route to fight the Lok Sabha elections. The Indian public is so gullible that it believes what it sees. Then they have the gall to call Arvind Kejriwal bhagoda.
Ashu Toss
9. Most politicians fear the media, which tends to make heroes and villains to keep going. Arvind Kejriwal was the darling they had discovered. But even when things turned bitter, he did not fear the media. On the contrary, he embraced one media guy after the other. He already had former anchors Manish Sisodia and Shazia Ilmi. He also had Yogendra Yadav and Sanjay Singh. Yet he accepted Ashutosh into the fold. Ashutosh was not a former journalist, he was an editor who was editing at the time of his joining. Ashutosh was famous for his editorial courage and tweeting in English, in spite of grammar Nazis attacking him for mauling the Queen’s language. These colonialists do not realise that India is a free country and we are no longer ruled by the British, or their lingua franca, which means the language French that is Greek to most Dilliwalas, who have not the foggiest about Tulu phrases.
Bung-Low
10. A chief minister deserves a bungalow. But his humility didn’t allow him to ask for one. He wanted a “two-room-set” but agreed to ask for a five-room flat. The sycophant bureaucracy offered him a ten-room bungalow. The humble man accepted it when the media began humiliating his humility. He rejected five rooms and kept only five. Unlike ministers and VIPs who squat on government property for years after they have lost office, Arvind Kejriwal left the government bungalow immediately after resigning. Not immediately but within a year. Same thing.
1-2 Ka 49
11. He ruled Delhi for 49 days. If you add the two digits, you get 13, which is an unlucky number. Yet, people with no knowledge of numerology tend to blame Arvind Kejriwal for Delhi’s misfortunes. They need lessons in basic fortune-telling. People cannot blame their lack of education on a former chief minister of Delhi. It’s not only unethical but immoral. For them, I have just two words: Somnath Bharti.
And Finally
CommentThere is another thing, but we should keep it outside the list, because a list of 10 things looks like a list. A list of 11 things is plain awkward. So last but not the least: culture. India is the land of culture. Arvind Kejriwal became the first chief minister who performed live at his swearing-in ceremony. Before swearing in, he made the auto-drivers swear in the name of their children. Then he did something unthinkable. He sang. He sang some random faux patriotic tearjerker from a Bollywood film. In spite of a bad throat. Shivraj Singh Chouhan does sing in public functions, but I swear, I have never heard any chief minister break into a song at their own swearing-in ceremony. Arvind is a true Indian idol. That should shut up his critics. I better do. (Courtesy: dailyo.in)
