Aaj ka Qissa Hyderabadi zuban mein sunataun. Isku Dakhni bhi bolte. 12 November ku kya hua maalum? Hyderabad k Janab Robin Zaccheus ka dil baahar khana bola. Uno ekich nai hai aise. Ab amma key ya joru ke haath ka bana khana khaatey khaatey logan bezaar ho jarain jaisa dikhra. Robin saab bhi kuch logon ku leke Hyderabad ki Chicha Restaurant pahonch gaye aur daba ke kheenchey Hyderabadi asli pakwaan. Chicha ek bada tagdda bill de diye. Aap logan ye bill ku hallu dekho nai to haibat hongi. Chicha tabiyat se khilaaye Robin saab aur unkey logon ku. Bill deke ‘pani pila diye!’ Hau. Sachchi bolraun mai. Ek bottle pani ke 10/ lena magar Chicha 20/ liye! Ek bottle nai Robin k logan pani bhi daba ke piye. Poorey 9 bottles piye! Utta khaaye baad pani ke liye jagah kaisa banaaye unkuch maalum!
Robin saab aur unke logan kya kya khaaye vo bhi suna detaun aap logon ku. Special mutton Haleem se shuru kare. Chaar (4) plate mangaaye. Pathar ka gosht sirf 200 gram mangaaye aur vo kiski naak mein daaley nai maalum. Sadqa kam shaitaanan zyada bolte na vaisich maamla tha. Roghni Roti, Paneer Butter Masala, Special Mutton Biryani (16 Tukdey yaani gosht ke 16 bade botiyan), Chicken 65 Biryani, Chicken Malai Kebab, Chicken Garlic Kebab bade rubaab se khaye aur dakaaran maarne Masala Cola bhi liye saath mein.
Itta kha liye baad Robin ku kuch samajh mein aata? Bill kitta hua maalum? Poorey 5,466 rupiye raayajul waqt. Kirkiri kaan shuru hui maalum? Robin bill dekhe to pani ke 9 botolon ke 180 rupiye dikhe. Robin ki phir gayi. Chicha, ye daba ke kyon marre bole. Chich ku samajh mein nai aaya. Uno samjhe, baldiya wale aaye to kya karte? Unku puraney tareeqe se niptaa lenge sonche kyunki bachpan se suntey aarain — Baldiya aaya, khaya, piya, Chal diya! Magar Robin saab bill ku tweet karke bom macha diye. Baldiya ke saath saath, khatmalon ku bhi bol diye. Robin,tum ye bolo yaro, police ku kaiku boley tum? Kya Chicha madarr karey the? Teesre hukum tak daba ke khaye 5,000 rupiye ke uppar. Tum ku 90 rupiye bhot zyada dikh gaye? Kaiku Chicha ka aur Hyderabad ka Naam kharaab karne pe tulevehai yaro?
Chicha, ye umar mein tumaare kya kaama hai? Seeda, seeda bill nai banana? 90 rupiye ke wastey kaiku izzat ka bhaji paala? Ab baldiya aati tumaare paas. Daba ke biryaniyan, kebaban, haleem phugat mein khaake tumku jurmaana bhi karte! Tum ku pani pila ke jaate. Khatmalan chhodtey samajhrain? Aisa hoich nai sakta. Unkey petaan kitte bade rehte nai maalum? Gullu Dada ke jaisa daba ke khaake mai detaun na bolke chale jaane se pehle maamul bada do ye hafte bolke khush qabri deke jaatey.
Hamaare Mulk mein pehlaich logan parashan hain. Hamaare Izzatmaab Vazir –e- Azam Aali Janab Narendra Modi Sahab har cheez po GST laga derain. Potton ku naukriyan nai hai. Mehangai bom maarri. GST, petrol pe duty, is pe tax us pe tax bolke Modi saab Mulk ku Lootrain! Chicha tum bi voich kaaman karrain? Logon ku jeene do zara! 10 rupiye ke vaastey niyyat kharaab mat karo. Chachchi ku bolun kya?
Pottey, pottion ku ek baat boltaun. Ye tamasha banaye tum logan? Uthey baithey Swiggy, Zomato, ala bala ape khaane ka order dete aur bawa ke, mardon ke jaib mein suraaqan daaltey jaatey. Amma banaye so, joru banaye so maze ka khana khao aur Maalik ka Shukr ada karo. Kaiku chikna, faltu, kabhi pait kharab karne wala, dil aur shakker ki bimaariyan dene wala khana khaatey? Pehle kabhi sunte the? 30 saal mein haat ataak hoke qabrastan pahonch jaarain!
Chicha ke paas gaye to bi apna pait samajh ke khaao!
