Eram Eqbal for BeyondHeadlines
“Mother! I am suffering from horrific hair loss. God forbid, I think I will be takli (bald) soon.” said Reshma, a 21 year old btech holder working for an IT firm.
What is your suggestion for Reshma? And moreover can you guess her mother’s reply? May be “don’t worry dear, let’s visit doctor.” or may be she would have suggested some home remedies as a solution.
If you are making such kind of guesses then you are totally wrong. In actual her mother replied, “oh my God! You are not married yet. We are finding groom for you”. “Nobody likes to marry a bald girl”. “Ladki Ki khubsoorti us Ke Baal se hoti hai”. (Hair plays a major factor in making a girl beautiful)…
So these were the words which Reshma got in return. Some of you must be giggling after reading this. Some of you must be nodding your head adding your remarks “same happens or happened with me,” and some of you must be defending Reshma’s mom claiming “Indeed! Hair plays an important role to add beauty to a girls’ personality”.
In fact 8 out of 10 person sail in same kind of notions. This is not just about hair. This is the long back tradition of our society. “Fair complexion, fish shaped eyes (meenakshi) and fine eyebrows along with long pointed nose with perky pink lips are the features with which a girl or women is marked to be beautiful”.
From telefilms to box office everywhere this phenomenon is evident. It’s not just limited to movies or serials. Advertisements of fairness cream are at peak projecting obsession for fair skin. Songs like; chittya kalaiyan (white wrist), gore gore mukhde pe kala kala chashma (black spectacles on white face) are scripted and tuned with immense pleasure and proud.
If I pursue quoting such examples whole article will end but similar examples won’t end. If we talk about cartoons from “Rupanza” to “Cinderella” all these characters were designed on same parameter of beauty which our society has set. We can’t imagine a black doll. We can’t imagine a fat princess. If she is a doll she has to be picture perfect. And now what to do if she is not picture perfect?
To become picture perfect became a major crisis. There are number of girls who deny to get clicked, to upload pictures or to come on camera. Not getting clicked or posting snaps is fine, but rational has to be logical and sensitive. If someone gives rational like I am not beautiful. I have dusky face. I look fat in pictures. “Oh! This picture is so bad, I am looking black like xyz (may be xyz is the name of a girl with dark complexion)”. Please delete. These are the statements which is derogatory and problematic as well in the interest of society.
And now we have got a ‘magical wand’ or may be ‘blessings in disguise’ in the form of advance Photo Editor available in our Smartphones to make us SMART. In just one click black to white another click double white. One click can make your face sharper and tone your body to make it picture perfect. So the major problem of becoming picture perfect got easier. If you want to become beautiful as per society’s standards then you are just a click away!
So all problems solved? Everybody is happy and ready to shoot? No! there are still millions who want to be as they are. No editing with their characteristics. They love to be chubby, dark, dusky, black, brown, etc. So what’s the problem? Problem is the peer pressure, society who doesn’t leave a moment to taunt, to recommend beauty creams and photo Editor Software.
But I think the actual problem is what we see as visual production on our idiot box in form of ads, movies and telefilms projecting women with few limited features. Nobody talks about the intelligence of women. Societies have been nourished and have nourished us in such a way that our brains don’t accept anything other than fair complexion, hair, nose, figure etc. when topic is women. We can’t think about women beyond it.
Here if I am mentioning us then I am referring to society. And somewhere in the corner of our heart and brain we are plagued by this beauty syndrome or complexion syndrome. Infact picture perfect syndrome would be a better word to coin. We use various photo Editor to make face glow as milky-white and body as slim as possible. And even if you deny this is the hard core truth which everybody will accept in their heart.
So now the point is what can be done to stop at least this one kind of racism and sexism of becoming white, pink and slim. And above all when intelligence will become priority? Do we have any application or software’s to enhance intelligence?
I guess not because intelligence requires education, and education doesn’t mean academic qualifications. It refers to basic moral. Moral of treating everyone equal, encouraging and appreciating every individual for what they are.
I started this article with a concept of connection between marriage and looks. So now things are crystal clear. If you are not beautiful as per the decided parameters of society and cinemas then by default you can’t get groom. So it’s not just one Reshma’s story. There are many Reshma who listen such dialogues daily in one or other way.
So now it’s high time things can only change if well-wishers of all Reshma, Asha, lousy, Amarpreet must say, it’s okay dear we will take care of you. You are our princess and will be till end. Looks doesn’t matter, your ability does. I will take advantage of being a writer here. I will quote my dad’s word “seerat pe dhyan dena chahiye, soorat pe nahi”. (we should focus on ability not look). So the day when every mom, dad, friends, siblings, boys, girls, add makers, movie makers, serial makes etc. will understand the importance of ability and intelligence no Reshma or Reshma’s mother will worry about marriage on the basis of look because till then mind-sets of society will get transform for good.
Now when I am in dilemma to decide how I should end this article I have got an idea of beautiful add for add makers. Script is below for an unknown product Roopsundar:-
Kya aap dus dino mein super model banna chahte hain?
Kya aap doodh jaisa gorapan chahte hain?
Kya aap apni sundarta se sabko madhosh karna chahte hain?
Toh hamara product roopsundar BILKUL NA KHARIDEIN.
Kyunki hamara roopsundar phoda-phunsi, muhasse (pimples, blisters etc.) hatata hai, gora nahi banata,
Apke chehre ko swasth banata hai, super model nahi banata
Kyunki is mein hai haldi neem aur sandal Ke gun (benefits).
To Jo khud se kare pyaar, roopsundar se kaise kare inkaar!