The second test between India and Australia begins on Boxing Day. It is an opportunity for India to include some boxers, wrestlers, and allrounders and innovate in cricket. The best all-rounder who can take the field seems to be Jay Shah because of his impressive score of 16,000 in one financial year! Nobody else can give such a turnover! When we are passing through the ‘Winter of 36’, let Jay Shah take guard in place of Prithvi Shaw. Who knows Jay Shah may score 36,000 runs in the first innings? At least, this way we can come back in the series.
With Captain Virat Kohli sharing the labour pains in the maternity ward, there will be no gains on the field. Hence, it is very important that Jay Shah takes more responsibility. In the BCCI, Jay Shah has taken ‘all’ the responsibility! No contract can be awarded without his approval. Like his father, he is also No.2! He is No. 2 to BCCI president Saurav Ganguly. But, Jay Shah can make India No.1 if he takes the field on Boxing Day. He should practice with Mary Kom and Nikhat Zareen to punch the ball to the boundary. There is not much difference between a boxing ring and a cricket field. In both places, there are winners and losers. This test should be taken as a ‘revenge’ test. For this, Dilip Ghosh should be the opening partner of Jay Shah as he has a lot of experience in taking ‘revenge.’
Jay Shah should open the bowling too as Bhuvaneshwar, Shami, and Ishant are not part of the team due to injuries. Jay Shah should bowl all bouncers so that the Australians cannot score any runs. Some real bouncers from the defunct dance bars of Mumbai should be drafted into the team. They will get employment. Who knows when do we have to use them? After all, we are playing the mighty Kangaroos and not the timid ‘Termites’ from Bangladesh! Jay Shah’s illustrious father Amit Shah is already playing with the ‘Termites’ though in West Bengal!
It is said everything is fair in war and love. Jay Shah should also make efforts to bring the Australians to our side on the field. There should be such a rush of Adrenalin that the Australians throw away their national jerseys (red shirts for this is a test match) and switch to the Indian side. Videos of ‘Operation Kamal’ should be watched before the match. Amit Shah has won many matches this way in Goa, Karnataka, Manipur, Madhya Pradesh. He is still trying it out in Rajasthan but Ashok Gehlot is sticking on to the wicket superbly.
Jay Shah should lynch the center wickets of the Australians with straight balls and with the bat too if the umpires allow. If Jayant Sinha likes the performance he would come to Australia with ‘garlands for he has tremendous regard and fondness for lynchers. If the stadium is full and noisy, Kapil Mishra’s valuable services can be sought. In no time, he can get the stadium vacated! If anything goes wrong, blame it on the ‘Dadis!’ The aim should be to take ‘revenge’ in this test.
If everything fails, Jay Shah should call a press conference and blame it on Jawaharlal Nehru! Nehru spent all his time fighting the British. He did not write any mercy petitions to the British. So, Nehru had no time to practice batting, bowling, and fielding. It was left to Arun Jaitley, Anurag Thakur, and Jay Shah to bring laurels to Indian cricket. If Jay Shah cannot face questions at the presser, he should instead ask Akshay Kumar to do an interview with him. Those asking me about mixing cricket and politics, may I ask them why did they not object when the Zang Parivar (Rusted Family) mixed politics and religion? Why are humour and satire confined only to literature these days?
On a serious note, there should be no bahaane (excuses) from Ajinkya Rahane and the team! Put all your best feet (11X2) forward and make our great country proud again!